Ok I don’t know how to feel. This is probably stupid and I will delete.
My manager and I were at an office gathering thing for someone’s leaving, and a fair skinned Syrian woman and I were chatting about her just coming back from Egypt. And I was like ‘oh u have a nice tan’ and she said ‘yeah it’s brown but it’s going to fade :(’ and then my Swedish white as a sheet manager comes in n says well it’s better than Jon and me, pointing to her arm and then mine- for real though I swear I was going crazy but my arms are fucking browner than both of their skin??? 365 days? Like they are both pale as fuck tan or no and for a minute I was like… Silent cause I didn’t want to point out that I at least have a Spanish look going on so I’m naturally tan. Then my manager says ‘I bet u tan really well cause u have Spanish in you’ and I’m like ‘no that’s my African side I get my colour from’ and she goes quiet like she doesn’t know what to say, then the other woman says ‘I bet ur mum has a lovely natural brown shade’ and I’m like ‘…. Yes she looks African I guess??’ Then the convo stops like. And then I thought why the awkwardness when I mention my African side like good job remembering I’m Spanish but everyone fucking remembers that part of me even though its the same percentage of me that’s African. I guess cause I look it. But that comment on colour threw me like am I going mad or was my skin compared to a woman that blends in with snow? Like hun I’m sorry I know I’m pasty but u gonna look stupid as fuck when u point to ur arms then mine, then everyone realises my arms are the most brown part of me. Idk it felt being compared visually to her because skin tone is something I still think about a lot???